070118
So it’s the time of year when I start to break down, mentally and physically, due to the demands of working and the wild world of bike racing. Yesterday I raced at Madeira and today I raced at Hyde Park. Last year I won at Lawrenceburg on the same weekend and got second at Hyde. This year the results were not so good. Justin Wonder Boy and I tried to make our little two person team do the work of a five person team, knowing that we had to contend with the Texas Roadhouse Cowboys, led by the recently crowned masters nation champion Marco Aledia.
So Madeira started hot and fast, as expected, and by the time we hit the first turn we were doing 30. Marco led the first lap to show off the jersey and we all sort of just fell into line…I guess we all just felt like letting him have a glory lap or something…which was warranted, for sure. Then the attacks started. I was sorta hoping that the Riverpoint guys would be very active in this race, and they were, to an extent. We’ve raced them many times now and I know they are a good team with some fast and fit riders. I mean, hell, they have Jon Card, OB Forbes, Jason Karew, etc… so they should be attacking and trying to get away…and if they did, one of us would join them and be happy to work and I am sure that a Roadhouse would do the same. Buuutt, nnoooooOOOOOOOoooooo……… This was going to be one of those races where one person attacks, gets a gap, is joined by one or two others, and then is chased down almost immediately by Riverpoint or one of the smaller teams or privateers that always show up ready to race, but not quite ready to work hard in a break. And thusly it has been in the masters for the past few years. Very negative racing. Very boring. Guys just wanting to sit in and sprint…strong enough to weld the field back to the break but not strong enough to actually engage in a break and work. It’s been very frustrating lately. I realize that not everyone has time to train enough to be fit enough to be a player but shit, man…if you would just take your turn at the front and roll through you might surprise yourself with…..what? A breakaway that actually sticks because it has a good percentage of the teams represented and everyone is willing to at least roll through, even if they don’t put too much effort into their pull. And by “you”, I mean every single masters racer who pulls that negative shit (described above) and then gets his wish and sprints it out for 13th place or something and THEN goes to the beer garden to get drunk and watch the P,1,2 race later in the day. Well maybe not all of them go and get drunk but it’s hard not to at Hyde Park what with all that party atmosphere and the beer stands and the Bon Jovi cover band (or whatever that was…it was so fekkin loud I nearly put in earplugs). Wait…was it Whitesnake? White Lion? Great White? Betty White? I’m sure it had the word “white” in it.
Anyway Justin actually got in a break that stuck and so all I had to do was sit and wait for the field sprint. Justin rode well, as he always does, with Ben Weaver, Bo Sherman, and a few other guys evidently rotating pretty well. Marco, Matt Bole, Kroll, and I tried bridging across many times but the field kept welding it back together due to their congenital need to not be picked last on the kickball team. We rode pretty hard and it was super hot and humid and my ice sock melted in three seconds and shame on me for not being rich enough to buy one of those pro cooling vests to wear during my warmup. The middle part of the race was, like I said, attack after attack until we realized that nothing was going to stick and we were not going to bridge to that break. And I definitely did not want to pull the entire field up because I had Justin up there and he can lay down a pretty solid sprint. So after we realized it was NOT coming back, Roadhouse started sending Bole off the front solo to bridge. I could not go with him because if I did, the field would chase us down. But if he went solo, the field would let him go…for reasons that I do not fully understand (reminder: find out why some people find joy in racing for fourth place). So I stayed back with the group and watched placidly as Matt rolled off uncontested to claim the last place on the podium. I did get to edge Marco in the field sprint and that is sort of cool I guess…sniff… but really not because it was for fourth and fourth place in a bike race is kind of like eating egg whites. Not very fekkin satisfying.
All good though, got in some very hard efforts all weekend and I should be coming full force heading into Indy Crit and then Intelligentsia. And Please don’t forget about the Heroes Crit and Fit on July 28. It’s in Pendleton this year and should be a very well organized and top notch event with a sweet course on mostly newly paved roads. So watch out for me in the corners because I will not slow down for you. You will need to pedal hard to catch back on. I mean it.
— El Conchristador
PS — I just realized that this was sort of a rant. It was mostly all true stuff though and I just felt like writing it. But I’m actually in a pretty good mood lately despite the fact that I need to catch up on about a zillion hours of sleep.
PPS — Hyde Park was even hotter and we rode around and tried many many times to create a move but see above for description of the Welding Wankers and their marvelous tactics.
PPPs — Gray Goat - Bullseye is still kicking ass and taking names and so is Zone-6 Endurance. I’m proud of the teams and look forward to their continued development. Shout out to Brooke Hannon who needs to have weights and shackles added to her bike and ankles to make it fair in her races. Congrats on the success and welcome to GGB!
Oh one more thing: to anyone shooting fireworks off long after the designated times set out by the city of Carmel, I will find you and take away your lighters and matches and cigarettes and cigars and whatever else you use to scare the piss out of my pups and annoy the hell out of me and break them loudly in front of you.
That is all
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