August 15

Wrap-up: State Road Race—Tuesday shmoozeday—Trigonometry for Bikers (or Mass Ave if you prefer)—and Thank God the 7 comes before the 9 now…

So the state-champs road race was possibly the greatest turnout (hang on…Patrick Cox from Taxmasters is on TV right now and I must stop and watch for 30 seconds because he is possibly the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen).

Sorry…anyway the state-champs road race was possibly the greatest turnout the Heroes Foundation team has ever had for a single event! (crap…sorry again but I can’t help but wonder if bed bugs have eaten off the left side of Patrick Cox’s face. Is that why he is always in profile on those commercials?)

So we had a bunch of dudes and my wife up in the Fort for the state champs. It was very hot and very sunny with a not-so-pleasant breeze blowing in from the west. Total elevation gain for the race was two feet per lap. Those two feet are an aggregate of the several inches we gained every time we went over potholes. Other than that…not much going on but lots of maize. (you call it corn, we call it maize…remember that commercial?) So like I said, we brought lots of people to race and many of them had never raced before which means we pretty much had like 10 guys racing 5s. I believe the only reason we did not WIN the 5s is that most of our guys simply did not have any experience with actual race tactics. They are all strong enough to win a road race…just not as tactically astute as the others. For this reason we are considering devoting the rest of the Hammerfests to teaching race tactics to those who want to learn. We decided to do this because anyone who can do Hammerfest and stick it for all six laps is fit enough to compete in their respective categories. And it is at that point where tactics determine how successful you will be as a racer. And THAT is when it gets fun! I will explain: someone who is barely fit enough to stay in the group during a race will expend most of their mental energy worrying about whether or not they can hang on when the pace goes up to 30, and for how long. This is NOT fun. Worrying like that depletes your adrenaline and turns you into a Piggy. BUT…when you are fit enough that you don’t have to worry about hanging on, you can focus on when and where to attack or what break to go with or how far back you want to be when the sprint begins or even when to eat your turkey sandwich, Damian. And when you can focus on those things instead of your fitness, you turn into a Roger…and Roger sharpens a stick at both ends.

So what does all that have to do with the Cat 5 race up in Fort Wayne, Indiana? I’m not completely sure but it was fun to think about. And that’s all that really matters to me. But the POINT! The point is that most of our guys can win races…they just don’t know HOW. Now I can remember when I started racing bikes back in 1993 I did well just by riding as hard as I could for the whole race. That was mountain bike racing. When I started doing road races, I learned really quickly that I might be faster than most of the guys I was racing, but they were all beating me. So I learned how to measure my efforts and make them count when it mattered most. That took about ½ of one race. I quickly learned who was fast, who could win solo, who could initiate a solid break, and who the gnats were. I learned NEVER EVER EVER to follow a gnat attack and never to allow a gnat to be in a break with me because their pulls are weak and their confidence is like soft butter. And speaking of confidence…it is muy importante. It is maybe the most important thing after basic race fitness. Someone who has no real confidence will attack and then immediately look back for reinforcements. This is not the guy to go with. The guy to go with is the one who attacks strong and does not care if you come or not. He knows full well that he is capable of starting something and simply HOPES that someone else will come up and help out a little. And if no one does, he does his best to stay away. If he gets caught, no big deal…at least he had the Pelotas to do something.

Right…I am spending too much time on this. The point is to go with that last guy and not the doucher.

So we could have won the 5s but we didn’t. But I believe we will next time if we spend some time teaching our less experienced guys how to race. Good stuff…

So we did well in the other categories on the whole. Jacob K, who has too many consonants in a row in his last name, got 6^th in Cat 3, I got 4^th and Langan got 6^th in Masters 35+, Ryan Tragesser, who races for Matthews but who we have adopted for road events, got 7^th in M35+, and Damian got very upset at the spare tire truck. Oh and Steve Down placed 15^th, Greeney 16^th, Tim Konrad 27^th, Jose Cisneros 29^th, Lee Jackson 30^th, Jeff Hess 31^st, and Ryan Nolting 34^th in Cat 5. I hear they tried to run a train several times but they created such a powerful draft that my Grandma Richter could have kept up on her adult trike. So next time we’ll get a better plan together.

The Masters race was really fun and Scott Moon took off from the gun in a throwback breakaway from the 90s that lasted all the way to the finish. I felt very good that day and attacked numerous times and finally got across with Court and a couple others. We stayed away and I cramped very badly but managed to stay in it until the end for fourth. Mikey got 3^rd in the field sprint which gave him 6^th in 35+ and Ryan T was right behind him. Good enough for a beer, brothers…

So the Mass Ave Criterium was a triangle. That’s about all I can say about that. I started the 1 / 2 race and pretty much immediately dropped out. My head was just not into it. This is the time of year when I start to get bored with riding all the time and the ol’ motivation just goes away. That race started at 32 MPH immediately with bumpy pavement and super tight corners and I just suddenly realized that I was not having, nor would I have any fun at all that night. So I pulled out and Hans bought me a beer and I thought that was a much better way to spend the rest of the evening.

Damian and Court did well in the Masters race and little Tommy Cox won the day. I saw him in the parking lot with a bouquet of flowers and a half-empty (or full if you are optimistic) bottle of champagne…which I think would have been the BEST way to spend the rest of the evening…but champagne must be earned, whereas beer can be bought, and I had friends with money but my competitive spirit has waned. So thanks, Hans.

I think I’m pretty much done racing now unless I get a wild hair and decide to do Z-ville, which is right down the street from my house. Yesterday I went out with Beth on cruisers and pedaled around JUST FOR FUN and it was great! We got about 10 miles in and my heart rate never rose above 120. I never felt any lactic acid. When we hit a headwind, I simply geared down and rode more slowly. When we had a tailwind, I tried my best to coast for as long as I could. I wore flip-flops and a t-shirt. I did not take a water bottle. We stopped at a friend’s house and said howdy and I didn’t worry about my legs getting “cold”. If we saw a cool neighborhood, we rode in and checked it out. We smelled barbecue and heard kids playing and birds singing. We talked about stuff without having to take a breath every four words. And best of all, my wife and I enjoyed riding together without me worrying about how much time I got in for the day and generally being a brooding, neurotic mess. I’m looking forward to that type of riding for a while. It’s not so hot these days, although it’s August and I know that can change. Today I have both doors open at the shop and there is a fine fresh breeze whisking itself around in here and telling me to loosen the screws a little…at least until cross season shows up and those weirdos start calling…

--Richterissimo